Menopausal AF

So here’s the part 2 of Menopause like a Motherfucker. Let’s discuss the miraculousness of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).

Do you know how I found this miracle? On the advice or suggestion any of the myriad of doctors I was seeing for all of my symptoms? My gyno? My orthopedic dr for my shoulder and hip? My gp? Absolutely not. I FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT FOR MYSELF. And that in and of itself is fucked up and it exactly what I meant when I said no one is talking about this. Half of the population of the entire world is women. That means that half of the population of the entire world have already, currently are or will in the future go thru menopause. If it were a thing that happened to the OTHER half of the population of the world (men) do you seriously think it wouldn’t have a cure? You bet your ass it would.

So thru my own research and at the suggestion of some friends, I found Dr Maryclaire Haver on instagram. She is the starting point. A literal shining beacon of hope. She is like the high priestess of our witches coven on menopausal women who are just done with everyone’s bullshit and ignoring us or telling us to suck it up buttercup. And I went from there. Deep dive into all the research, all the testimonials, all the actual menopause friendly doctors, actual science, etc. and I decided to just try hormone replacement therapy. Online. On my own. Because my gyno doesn’t prescribe that. To anyone. Ever. He threw some samples of bullshit meds at me to reduce hot flashes. Like seriously? Hot flashes are the least of my fucking problems dude. Have you listened to a single word I said?? I felt totally unseen and unheard. I have always been a big believer if you want something done right, do it yourself. So I fucking did.

After doing all of this research, I felt (those of you who know me know I think I have my medical degree- but oddly enough my track record of self diagnoses and of family members is at about 98% confirmed by actual doctors) I felt like I’d be a good candidate for HRT. I always did well with birth control pills way back when so hormones and I were ok, no family history of breast or uterine cancers, no family or self history of stroke or blood clots. All my most recent bloodwork came back good from my gp.

I went to mywinona.com, filled out the intake forms (truthfully) with my medical history, family history, current symptoms, etc. I was then reviewed by a doctor (an actual real doctor) and was onboarded, paid for my prescriptions and they were in the mail to me within about a week and a half from the beginning of the process. I chose the estrogen patch (after researching I didn’t love the compounded cream idea), DHEA and progesterone pills. And holy shit you guys- I’m like cured!! No, I didn’t do hormone testing (again after researching it seems unnecessary- they prescribe to your symptoms and it was beyond obvious the estrogen left the fucking building and I had zero left for over a year). I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing I feel!! Truly a fucking miracle.

Brain fog lifted, positional vertigo vastly improved (I think I’ll probably always have this but at least it’s manageable), hot flashes literally completely gone. Like poof- my internal thermostat was reset. No more night sweats waking up in a pool of sweat and then freezing 5 minutes later, no rush of anxiety before every hot flash cause there aren’t any!!

Let’s discuss sleep. Omg, sleep is AAAAAAMMMMAAAAAAZZZZZIIIIINNNNGGG! I actually fall asleep and STAY asleep all night. If I wake up to pee or anything I can go right back to sleep! Like what??! I’m even going to sleep at a more normal hour (12-1am instead of 3-4am) and waking up at a more normal hour (without an alarm clock) and feel awake and ready for the day. That is NOT my normal morning feeling. Ever. Everrrr. Such restful sleep and I even look forward to bedtime because before HRT I was dreading it every night.

My shoulder pain is 95% better. No more shooting down my arm. No more huge burning dull ache 24 hrs a day. No more wincing and sucking in my breath every time I lift my arm or move in a certain way. No more pain putting on a coat. And without “melting” any ligaments with more steroid shots! I can even sleep on my right side again!!

Hip pain same as above- poof gone. I can walk comfortably for 2-4 miles a day (haven’t tried longer yet but it doesn’t hurt when I’m at 4 miles so I think it would probably be ok to go longer)

Neck pain, back pain and all over flexibility- this is a big one. I have been stretching every single morning (still im old now so if I don’t stretch in the morning I pay for it later) and finally it doesn’t kill, especially coming out of the stretch. I felt like my muscles and ligaments and joints would like almost seize up while I was in each 30 second stretch and it would be big painful moving out and afterwards. Like the stretch wasn’t even doing a damn thing. Like the tin man in wizard of oz. Needed oil. Or estrogen.

Urinary and vaginial issues way better, so much more energy, aches and pains much improved (I’m not making “the noise” getting in and out of the car, off the couch, out of a chair anymore).

This list doesn’t even address the internal changes HRT is good for. Preventing osteoporosis, rising cholesterol, heart disease, visceral fat around organs, improving mental health, preventing memory issues and Alzheimer’s, etc.

I’m just Happier with a capital H. Just sooo much happier. I’m me again!!!!!! Even my chiropractor, massage therapist and StretchLab’s stretcher have all seen huge improvements in all facets.

However, im still fucking pissed that not one doctor would help me or even recognized that this was all related!! So I’m sharing all of this so maybe someone can spare themselves the hell of menopausal bullshit. I do have an appointment with (who I hope is) a menopause literate doctor in person next month to get some added advice and information. But to say myWinona and Dr. Maryclaire Haver saved me wouldn’t be an overstatement. Oh, and to those at the Lancet who are saying Menopause is being overmedicated… shut up. Look at this. You tell me which side seems overmedicated to you.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Ask me any questions if you have any.